my life?

hmm...i m so tensed up....i dont even know wat is happening to me man.......i m sad.....i feel very lonely...i think i need sum1 special to share my secrets......as today i was cycling to kamunting i was thinking about a girl(to be precised my crush)......than without me realising i hit the divider.....my attention was diverted...luckily it was a bicycle,if it was a motorcycle....i would have been in the hospital right now.....the oni friend tht truly can understand me is naveen....i don meet him always as he is in the different class.....everyday i wonder......man how it feels to have a gf...at times when people ask me do u have a gf....i would say...i dont have 1 ....would u get me 1.....and they will b like..hahaha....but deep in their heart......there will b something going on about me...i mean.....is it right or wrong?or wat..i need some help......no1 understands me....and i think being lonely is the best thing...but as a matter of fact it is not..it hurts......and there are some bitchy gurlz going out there and saying to their friends(as per my knowledge)..."hey u noe ah that santhiran like me"!!!!i mean wats their problem???!!!...i might care for them....juz as a bro or as a friend.....not more than that...if they tend to get thing wrongs...it is not my damn fault......i m juz ignoring them coz they are my friends and i dont want to earn more enemies...i have enaf of them!so gur who "ss" if i like u i will tell u...dont worry...well there are some gud girlz.....as an instance ....i was cycling back from my friends house wich was in kamunting....so there were 2 malay gurlz....they smiled at me.....i guess they were friends...i mean people who dont know us smile at us and people whom we noe for ages stare at us.....or they tend to ignore us...man.....wats wrong with smiling....????i noe wat i wrote here is juz a piece of crap wich was created from my insanity...but is there any other alternative?